Taking a step back.

Jack and I have been talking a lot today, well the past few days. He has been trying to decide if he should come back out here or stay home in Scotland and find work there. He has been going back and forth between the two ideas all week. He said that we've been moving really quickly in our relationship. Talking about the future, years ahead. Getting engaged, married, etc. Which we have, and it is what I want. But we have only been dating for eight months so I completely understand where he is coming from, plus he is two years younger than me. So the thought of marriage already is probably scary. Which I understand. He just scared me the way he went about bringing it up. I thought he was trying to say something had changed with us, or what he wanted had changed. But he reassured me he still loves me and nothing has changed. He just wants to take time to really get to know each other since we haven't really had that chance. I understand what he is saying and now that we've thoroughly talked about it, I know that we're on the same page. There was just a small minute second where I thought he had changed his mind about me. Because honestly, I don't understand how I was blessed enough to find such a perfect man in him. He constantly seems to good to be true for me. I guess because things always go bad for me with men. I am so scared to lose him because I love him more than life. He has made me so happy and brought me out of a deep depression. I never knew it was possible to love someone as much as I love him. I know he loves me because he tells me every day, all day. And goes on about me to his family and friends. I am just so damn insecure about myself that I don't think I could ever deserve a man like Jack or be loved by him. He is such a beautiful soul and I am so happy that he is mine to love forever. He is my best friend.

Really needed to get that out, but don't really have anyone to talk to about it because he is who I talk to about everything. He is my support system and I love him even more for that.

Also my cold has not gotten better, if anything its gotten worse. Hoping I can get back into my workout routine monday. Also started this new hair product by Just Natural. It is supposed to help your hair grow longer and thicker so we'll see.

Stephanie